Where do you stand? Where do you live?

Psalm 84:10
“Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”

It’s easy to say that we’d rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God rather than dwell in the house of the wicked but during our day, week, month and year where do we spend more time? Are we filling our time with things from God and for God or evil? Do we really take the time to distinguish what is truly wicked/evil in our lives?

My immediate thought is that anything against God and His desires could be classified as evil. And maybe even that which keeps us from doing what God would want is evil. I know that can be described as extreme or too black and white but think about it. If your sports activities, volunteer time, work, “good” book reading time, “good” TV time, vacationing…keeps you/me from spending time with Jesus in relationship and friendship, it is not for God, therefore, it is against God and ‘evil.’ (Luke 11:23)

Just a thought…

I know in my own life Jesus is causing me to look more carefully at my life. I want true intimacy with Jesus and I pray for this. But I have to look at what in my life is getting in the way of this. I can want something and pray for something for a very long time but what am I willing to do to move towards that intimacy? I also need to pray for the eyes to see through the “good” things and see what is truly getting in the way of the intimacy I desire. There was a phrase I used to use to evaluate decisions and give advice to others I was holding accountable: “Is it a good thing or a God thing?” So many times the “good” things get in the way of what Jesus really wants for us and what we really want from Him and with Him.

I am reminded of a theme verse from a retreat I attended

James 4:8a (NASB) “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…”

Death of True Life – Pure Life

James 1:14-15
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

I don’t want death. Jesus died to give life; complete life, whole life, pure life. I don’t want to have any death in me. In my mind this death is like a stench to You. I know that spiritually by believing in Your Son and receiving the cleansing of my sins by His death, I have received spiritual and eternal life, but what does my continued sin look like to You? Can You smell it like rotting flesh? Or does it merely sadden You; deeply sadden You? You know the plans You have for me, plans that do not harm me but prosper me. Yet there are times that I choose sin and even choose to allow it to become fully grown and bring a death unto myself.

This death that I have brought on myself…what form does it take? The only answer that comes to mind is the death of the life and blessings that You intend and want to give to me. Death of times I can participate in Your plans or fully receive the blessing of participating in Your plans. Whatever form the death takes, it is not Your best for me. I want Your best for me. I want to experience You fully and truly, nothing held back.

Forgive me for allowing my desire to birthed into sin and get fully grown leading to a death. Forgive me Lord Jesus for choosing my desire over You, for accepting a hollow shell of fulfillment instead of a fulfillment and blessing from You that would be lasting and precious.

By the power of Your Name and the blood that was shed for me, cleanse me from all unrighteousness and help me to allow You to purify my mind and heart to live the life You desire for me; one that is intimately connected to You. I want all You have for me, Lord. I want the intimate love relationship that brings true and lasting fulfillment and joy; completeness.