James 1:14-15
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”
I don’t want death. Jesus died to give life; complete life, whole life, pure life. I don’t want to have any death in me. In my mind this death is like a stench to You. I know that spiritually by believing in Your Son and receiving the cleansing of my sins by His death, I have received spiritual and eternal life, but what does my continued sin look like to You? Can You smell it like rotting flesh? Or does it merely sadden You; deeply sadden You? You know the plans You have for me, plans that do not harm me but prosper me. Yet there are times that I choose sin and even choose to allow it to become fully grown and bring a death unto myself.
This death that I have brought on myself…what form does it take? The only answer that comes to mind is the death of the life and blessings that You intend and want to give to me. Death of times I can participate in Your plans or fully receive the blessing of participating in Your plans. Whatever form the death takes, it is not Your best for me. I want Your best for me. I want to experience You fully and truly, nothing held back.
Forgive me for allowing my desire to birthed into sin and get fully grown leading to a death. Forgive me Lord Jesus for choosing my desire over You, for accepting a hollow shell of fulfillment instead of a fulfillment and blessing from You that would be lasting and precious.
By the power of Your Name and the blood that was shed for me, cleanse me from all unrighteousness and help me to allow You to purify my mind and heart to live the life You desire for me; one that is intimately connected to You. I want all You have for me, Lord. I want the intimate love relationship that brings true and lasting fulfillment and joy; completeness.
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